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That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
Romans 10,9

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The meaning of life

Mike Phoenix

I often thought I must not have belonged here and I wanted to take my life I was standing at the balcony railings and looking down.Just a jump and then Id never have to suffer.Yeah, its strange how much suffering a twelve-year boy can experience.. The meaning of life

My life was the search for the meaning from the very beginning – the search for the meaning of life.What´s the point in getting up from bed early in the morning, going to school and following the standarts created by the society? I was afraid when I fell asleep in the evening because I imagined the dark inimical world full of evil, violence, poverty, sicknesses and other ailments.

I often thought I must not have belonged here and I wanted to take my life – I was standing at the balcony railings and looking down.Just a jump and I´d never have to „suffer“.

Yeah, it´s strange how much suffering a twelve-year-old boy can experience but it was simply my everyday companion.Nowdays I realize that my suffering is very similar to the so-called depressive states – it was exactly what I was experiencing for a long time.When I looked for the meaning of life as a fifteen or sixteen-year-old boy I found it in faith, in Jesus, and in God.Everything started to dawn on me: the Bible, Masses in the church, my suffering should bind me more to Christ and I gradually got rid of the suffering with him.Nowdays I´m 19 and I´m dead certain that only God is my light on my way home and on my way to the heaven.In future I´d like to help other people in a way: sick, poor and sinnful…I don´t know exactly what God wants from me in this world but I believe I´ll come to know it in the matter of time.
 
I thank Jesus for everything that he keeps doing for me and for us…..I thank You, Father.Don´t leave all of us for ever.Amen!
 
 
Mike Phoenix, Bratislava, November 2004
 
 

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